Last night at our home group bible study we split up into prayer groups with all the adults. I got put into the wonderful Michael Hinson's group! I absolutely love that man and his family! As he asked us each what we needed prayer for I thought twice about saying me getting to Africa because I could feel the tears filling my eyes before I spoke... I went ahead and said it, with a shaky voice and pounding heart. Michael is one of the few who understands my heart. My friend Justin Myers gets me pretty well but not like Michael does. As Michael prayed he prayed for all of the other prayer request and somehow I was close to the end. As if I wasn't already crying enough, he brought more tears when he began to speak that powerful prayer to God over me.
I don't believe I have ever cried such big tears! I had spots on my jacket and sweats from crying so much! I wonder why God hasn't already put me there then I remember I need lots of training in prayer, and sharing my faith. Each time I speak about Africa I cry, but that only shows how much I am in love with a place I have never encountered in reality. In my dreams, I have been there many times! At this moment I am holding back tears because my parents are in the other room... haha, I don't like crying in front of them if you can't tell. You will never know the feeling of a missionaries heart if you are not meant to be one. That is why it is so hard for me at school. I know my friend Sarah gets me and see's how much I love that place, but it just isn't the same... When I speak with Michael he understands the pain I am suffering because he is going through the same thing. He wants to be out in the world serving God with himself. When I talk to Justin, it is just something new. He is a lot like me in my faith. God has called him to the mission field and he has such joy and excitement inside for his first one. See, I have been a missionary ever since I was 8 years old. I have been all throughout Wise County, New Mexico twice, and at this moment here in my hometown. I am ready for much bigger.
I love you, Afrika. You are my homeland. I long to be there loving on each of you people.
"You know your in love with a country if all day long you are relating everything you see, hear, and do to it. When you are in the middle of class and want to start crying because you miss a place you have only seen while you were sleeping. You know because you seem to understand the passion a Zambian song writer has in each of his songs. You know when pictures of the people there keep racing through your mind and fill you with JOY. You know because it is your calling."
SHOUT OUT to COACH SMITH, my favorite teacher. She is my speech teacher and I know I am her favorite student. ;) Love you so much Coach Smith. <3
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