So, my week has had quite a bit of craziness going on in it. The beginning of the week, from what I remember, was great! I went to church on Sunday, heard some missionaries talk, went to eat with my friends... The usually Sunday! After I got home I slept... I remember having an amazing dream! I went all around the world as a missionary... It was like my life in about 4 hours. In this dream I visited places that I never have ever thought about going, like China! I have never once thought about going to China! Anyway, so Monday came and I guess it was an ok day. I was happy because my weekend was so great but that was about it. Tuesday rolled around and I just felt like completely giving up. I don't know why, I have no idea where it came from, but I was just done. Throughout the day I was thinking about not going to church, stop being such a socializer, just be done! With everything. I wasn't going to kill my self, even though I was wishing that I would die and thinking about ways I could... But it was just a day of depression. I felt I had no worth, not point in even being apart of this world anymore, or even God's family either. My friend Kat kept telling me to read my bible and I just kept refusing. I WAS DONE!
Later that day, my friend Carlee asked my to come home with her along with my Best Friend, Audry, so I did. We laughed and had a really great time... What happens at her house shouldn't ever be mentioned to other people! Haha, but we had a wonderful time... I got home about 6:30pm and I was talking with a youth pastor in my community, Michael Hinson, and he just makes me realize things I wouldn't on my own! He also said some great things about Africa. He would take a couple of us over there for a mission trip because he has a great passion for the people as do I. Then I found out my close friend who has been to Africa twice is going back this summer instead of going to India! That opens up even more doors for me to be able to go.
God works in mysterious ways, but they are great!