Monday, November 28, 2011

A longing worth waiting for!

Last night at our home group bible study we split up into prayer groups with all the adults. I got put into the wonderful Michael Hinson's group! I absolutely love that man and his family! As he asked us each what we needed prayer for I thought twice about saying me getting to Africa because I could feel the tears filling my eyes before I spoke... I went ahead and said it, with a shaky voice and pounding heart. Michael is one of the few who understands my heart. My friend Justin Myers gets me pretty well but not like Michael does. As Michael prayed he prayed for all of the other prayer request and somehow I was close to the end. As if I wasn't already crying enough, he brought more tears when he began to speak that powerful prayer to God over me.

I don't believe I have ever cried such big tears! I had spots on my jacket and sweats from crying so much! I wonder why God hasn't already put me there then I remember I need lots of training in prayer, and sharing my faith. Each time I speak about Africa I cry, but that only shows how much I am in love with a place I have never encountered in reality. In my dreams, I have been there many times! At this moment I am holding back tears because my parents are in the other room... haha, I don't like crying in front of them if you can't tell. You will never know the feeling of a missionaries heart if you are not meant to be one. That is why it is so hard for me at school. I know my friend Sarah gets me and see's how much I love that place, but it just isn't the same... When I speak with Michael he understands the pain I am suffering because he is going through the same thing. He wants to be out in the world serving God with himself. When I talk to Justin, it is just something new. He is a lot like me in my faith. God has called him to the mission field and he has such joy and excitement inside for his first one. See, I have been a missionary ever since I was 8 years old. I have been all throughout Wise County, New Mexico twice, and at this moment here in my hometown. I am ready for much bigger.

I love you, Afrika. You are my homeland. I long to be there loving on each of you people.

"You know your in love with a country if all day long you are relating everything you see, hear, and do to it. When you are in the middle of class and want to start crying because you miss a place you have only seen while you were sleeping. You know because you seem to understand the passion a Zambian song writer has in each of his songs. You know when pictures of the people there keep racing through your mind and fill you with JOY. You know because it is your calling."

SHOUT OUT to COACH SMITH, my favorite teacher. She is my speech teacher and I know I am her favorite student. ;) Love you so much Coach Smith. <3

Sunday, November 27, 2011


I haven't written in what seems like forever. Mostly because I have been out of school and school is usually where I write. I can think! I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving! I sure did! We had lots of good food and some delicious desserts made by my wonderful Granny! Over my break I have been staying up late every night just thinking and looking at the beautiful children of Africa's faces. I have slowly fallen in love with this place. I remember when I was 8 and I said to my self, "I'm going to Africa." Ever since that day my heart has been slowly but surely falling deep in love. I can't even talk about Africa without crying a river anymore. I can't help that God has set my hair on fire for that wonderful place!

Each time I get on my laptop and look at the pictures of the children in Africa, my heart starts screaming out so loud that it is impossible to ignore! I AM IN LOVE. With a passion so deep for a country in need, I don't know how much longer I can hold back... I need to be there. I just wish each day that I was in school, I was with the children hugging each of them. Laughing with such joy of the simple things in life. I see my self one day there, but at this point I see my self there very very soon. I don't believe with any part of my soul God would give me such love for such a place with such great passion at this moment for no reason. Yes, knowing that is most likely not going to happen this summer, makes my love for this place grow deeper and deeper with the days. But such a place so full of beauty and words can't even describe.... I feel so close to this place I have never been to... How can this be?

God, the day I was born he knew what I was going to be. He set my heart in the hands of Africa. He gave me a heart of compassion, love, kindness, hope, labor... He gave me the heart of a missionary. No heart is the same in any way or sort but each  missionary has the same few gifts. They are made to serve. Made to give. Made to live in places unlivable. I am a Missionary. I will not stop when I grow weary, I have the strength of the Lord inside me. I will not stop when I am put down. I have such a great power overcoming in my soul that nothing will defeat me. I will not stop at the point of death. I will go farther than the grave. Sacrifice is what it takes to be a missionary. You give up everything and your risk your whole life going into places against the word of God.

We cannot be afraid if we are called. We must know that we have a great God with a great plan for our lives. He will give us the strength we need to overcome evil. We will have the victory!!!! HE LOVES YOU!

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit." Matthew 28:19<3 The Great Commision.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

This Week!

So, my week has had quite a bit of craziness going on in it. The beginning of the week, from what I remember, was great! I went to church on Sunday, heard some missionaries talk, went to eat with my friends... The usually Sunday! After I got home I slept... I remember having an amazing dream! I went all around the world as a missionary... It was like my life in about 4 hours. In this dream I visited places that I never have ever thought about going, like China! I have never once thought about going to China! Anyway, so Monday came and I guess it was an ok day. I was happy because my weekend was so great but that was about it. Tuesday rolled around and I just felt like completely giving up. I don't know why, I have no idea where it came from, but I was just done. Throughout the day I was thinking about not going to church, stop being such a socializer, just be done! With everything. I wasn't going to kill my self, even though I was wishing that I would die and thinking about ways I could... But it was just a day of depression. I felt I had no worth, not point in even being apart of this world anymore, or even God's family either. My friend Kat kept telling me to read my bible and I just kept refusing. I WAS DONE!
Later that day, my friend Carlee asked my to come home with her along with my Best Friend, Audry, so I did. We laughed and had a really great time... What happens at her house shouldn't ever be mentioned to other people! Haha, but we had a wonderful time... I got home about 6:30pm and I was talking with a youth pastor in my community, Michael Hinson, and he just makes me realize things I wouldn't on my own! He also said some great things about Africa. He would take a couple of us over there for a mission trip because he has a great passion for the people as do I. Then I found out my close friend who has been to Africa twice is going back this summer instead of going to India! That opens up even more doors for me to be able to go.

God works in mysterious ways, but they are great!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Use me Lord!

Tonight I have just felt so called. Through my boredom I found that calling. I was sitting in my room listening to Lecrae! I just soon realized that there are so many people right here in our nation, our cities, our small communities that don't know Christ! Just look around your town... On Sunday's there are people out partying and getting ready for football rather than worshipping Christ. I believe it is crazy... The youth in these places are probably the worst. Satan draws each person into believing that the world is crazy fun, and making Christianity seem as if you can't have any fun whatsoever! That is so far off from the truth! The world and it's ways are evil. They will lead you down a road with a dead end! Eventually you will die. You will no longer have life. Wouldn't you rather have eternal life with Christ rather than death? I can say, I would! I know I am going to!

Think. Is God calling you to reach out to your nation? Pray long and hard about it. He will reveal it to you in full if you do. God will call you to a certain place and he wants you to obey and stay there.
I am fully in for missions. I would even risk my life, but my parents won't allow me to! I would be so willing to go to a country completely against christianity! Imagine, saying I got killed speaking the word of Christ would be so amazing! My friends would be able to tell that story forever.

That is all I have for now. If you have questions feel free to email me at!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Thinking About You!

  Each day my mind is filled with the thoughts of those who are in different parts of the world winning souls to Christ. My heart nearly melts because I feel that power of God come inside of me. My life has a crazy twist to it and I'm not 100% why. I have always dreamed of being a missionary. I'm being serious! Ever since I met a guy named Job I knew that is what I wanted to do. The experience of it all is so overwelming. You eyes see things that are unbelievable and your heart is changed forever. I know that each day is a new journey and that I can be a missionary in my own school, but I just choose to hold the journey back. My life is filled with homework, a special routine and I don't seem to make enough time to do his will. I anger my self at points because I put it all off.
   God's will for me is extravagent and I cannot wait to see it all play out well in the future! Right now I need to focus on my school and community. That seems to be the biggest thing on my heart right now.
I will pray for all the missionaries out there until I can pray no more. Safety for you and that what your eyes see will forever change you. I also will thank God for you everytime I speak your name! You are doing such great things! Be the person God wants you to be until your called home!

For God is the maker of your body, heart, soul and mind. Follow his will for your life and you will be extremely blessed.

(short, I know. I am in class and just needed to post my heart)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Have you ever thought about a butterfly and how it is so much like a human that becomes saved? Well, I have! Think, once that beautiful butterfly your looking at was once an ugly caterpillar. Then one day it went into it's cocoon... When it came out, it was a beautiful butterfly with wings and could be free! It was able to soar through the air and be who God make it to be.

 This totally resembles salvation. At one point in your life you were a caterpillar. Held hostage to the ground. You couldn't go too far without failing to do what you wanted! Then you went into your cocoon. It took time but you finally realized what you needed in your life. After that you became free!!!!! You had wings to fly with! You were able to go places you never had before. Christ will change you. Once you receive him you are made free by his wonderful name. The name of Jesus over powers everything, even death!

Each person has a different will that God has set out for them. Some people are called to missions (like me), some people are called to be prayer warriors, some are called to a whole other kind of ministry. It really just depends on who God wants you to be. This relates to a butterfly I promise! Each butterfly is unique! No one butterfly is the same as another. Just like you. You and your best friend may be a whole lot alike but you aren't exact copies of each other! God has a different will and plan for each of you. Never lose your faith in God. His plan is only open to you if you are open to receive it. Your life would not be near as great without him inside of you.

Love your life, live it to fullest, praise God while living it.
Be who you are, don't try to change it, make it work, rearrange it. <3

"Work hard and stay true to God no matter what comes your way and your life will be blessed! :)" -Della Stallard (Coach Stallard)

Monday, November 7, 2011


What is a missionary in eyes of your friends?
    A person who goes over seas to tell people about God.
What is a missionary in your eyes?
   A missionary is a person who works for God and does his will out fully. They go where he wants or they stay where he wants.
Some people have the wrong idea of a missionary. Missionaries do much more than just go and speak the word of God. They build houses, they feed animals, they clean houses, and so much more! One thing is that people think for the most part, that missionaries go to other countries to speak the word of God. That definitely is wrong. You can be a missionary right there in your home town! God doesn't call everyone out of their home country to speak his word. Your country/town needs the love of Jesus just as much. There are immigrants here who may have never ever heard of the love you have. They are here for work and that is all. You could be a light to them and show them God's great wonderful love.

God loves each person no matter what. He can't love you more or less. You have a great worth and each person can be a missionary. I know that one day he will send me out into the world. I have no doubt it is my calling. I just need to be patient and let him have his way in my life. Through lots of prayer I will fulfill his will for me. Prayer can get you through anything! The strongest never the weakest.

Today in class we got to talking about missionaries some how and in Canada we, the US send people up there to speak to the immigrants and they become missionaries to their home countries. I think that is amazing that God just keeps it going on and on. We also spoke of one of my teacher's friends who got put on death row for sharing his faith! It is crazy some of the things Christians will do. God has his hand upon you and you shall not be afraid. Missionaries are pretty much taking a risk when they go to other countries with different religions. You could get killed but it is all in God's plan for you. Of course he doesn't want you to get killed and he won't allow it but you have to be willing to take that risk.

How far would you go for God?

Sunday, November 6, 2011


I am so blessed to be surrounded by who I am. There are some really awesome people in my community! Each person I have met here is so amazing! Just a moment ago I was speaking to one of our community's Youth Pastor's who is quite involved in this small town. He comes to our school every other week and visits with each student, even if they do not attend the same church.
  I soon realized after talking with him for a moment that me and him are a lot alike. His heart has such a great passion for youth it is unbelievable. This is going to be a very short post but, pray for my small community here. Let us be the ones that change the world with God's wonderful love!

Friday, November 4, 2011


So lately I have been just really upset about not being able to venture off to Ethiopia for a mission trip. I just started crying the other day! At Youth on Wednesday I talked to my friend Jaci for a moment and as we both were talking about was going on in our lives, I just started crying again! It's like now that I see how God could change my life even more, it makes me want to go even more. I want to be in a foreign country for a month our of my summer. I wouldn't even care if that meant not being able to sleep in! I just want to share my love for Christ with others so that they may experience the same thing! 

I know that there is persecution of the Christians going on in Egypt which isn't too far from Ethiopia, I don't care! If I got killed my friends would all be able to say, "She died serving the Lord." how awesome would that be? It's a lot better story than saying "She just got old and weak." when I am like 100! Just compare it. Imagine at my funeral the things people would say! It wouldn't be the old things about living my life out long and hard, it would be about me living my life out with what God called me to! 

I know a group who is planning on going to New Zealand this summer for a mission trip. I think that would be awesome, but it just isn't where some people are called. I am called to Africa others maybe called to Poland, China, Japan, India, South Africa, Canada, Alaska(In need of great love), Russia, anywhere on this planet!! Each persons heart is called somewhere else. Who knows, you may not even be called to be a missionary! You could be called to serve in some other way. Maybe by just making people smile! Yes, God can call you to comedy! If he wants you to make those around you smile and laugh he will put that funny-ness inside of you! 

Listen to God's voice because it is telling you something.